Reverend Huckabee is making quite an impression lately. It seems he just can’t understand why our Constitution doesn’t fit his God’s laws.
“But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God,” Huckabee said. “And that’s what we need to do, is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards.”
I am particularly fond of this lovely bit of common sense dieting advice:
Leviticus 11:20-22–All flying insects that walk on all fours are to be detestable to you. There are, however, some winged creatures that walk on all fours that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground. Of these you may eat any kind of locust, katydid, cricket or grasshopper.
(Ssshhhh! Don’t tell anyone that no insect has four legs.)
Of course this sound recommendation to just stay tuned is very moving and smart salesmanship:
Matthew 16:27-28–For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.
Who knew? There’s a mysterious group of 2000+ year old Christians sitting around waiting for a Jewish carpenter to crawl out of a crypt and save them from the evils of sin.
I left out all the jolly good times one can be justified in having by killing adulteresses, homosexuals and other nefarious and sinful characters. But that could be saved for another time when we all need our spirits lifted.
Dayamn! Where do I sign up? Sorry Flying Spaghetti Monster, but you just aren’t nearly as much fun as that Yahweh fella.