Homeland Securities

Dear Congressman Hayes Robin,

I read your letter dated October 5th. You laid an egg. Dear old mom and dad gave you that sissy name with good reason. Look, I know how busy you are so I don’t want this little NASCAR incident to get in the way of lapel pins and MoveOn bashing. Jesus H. Christ we got a lot of shit on our plate and your sense of humor is unmatched. I mean it’s literally unmatched. Not even that wild, crazy bastard Steny Hoyer’s got anything on you. Why, without this little respite during my otherwise dull day I might have to go investigate all the silly Homeland Security baggage you Republicans keep telling us is out their floating around in the ether somewhere. You know with all those terrorists running around trying to marry our daughters and burning flags and all, we need a good laugh now and then.

So thanks for making this routine fact-finding mission such a big deal you mouth breathing piece of shit.


P.S. Ever wonder wander why Republican = Loser? If THIS is how you govern then the Republican party, and traditional Media, deserve to die a slow painful death. Just how abso-fucking-lutely stupid is the base? How utter-fucking-ly intellectual-fucking-ly bankrupt are members of Congress and the Media? Thousands of dead Americans, ten (if not one hundred) thousand dead Iraqis, the 4th Amendment treated like a guideline by the former Cheerleader and the weak ass Democrats in Congress, torture as a national imperative, Vlad the Moscow Midget slapping Condi and Gates around like battered wives, and Michelle Malkin’s head about to explode, and this reporter, and that Congressman have nothing better to do? Jesus H. Christ can we please just get back to bashing MoveOn and lapel pins?


About The Ancient Randonneur

A randonneur and epicure without a sinecure.
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